All posts by Pastor Curry

Pastoral thoughts

It’s All About…

What a 4 days it was. As part of my Sabbatical my wife and I had an opportunity to attend a Pastor-Spouse retreat. Hosted and paid for by WinShape the purpose of the retreat was to provide those who served others an opportunity to be served. It was 4 days of being pampered in northwest Georgia. Our orders in fact were basically ‘Relax. Don’t do anything that smells like work. And whatever you need, ask for it – don’t get or do it yourself.’ At mealtimes we were chastised if we so much as picked up a napkin we dropped or in any way tried to serve ourselves.

It took some adjustment. I remember thinking about the discomfort of the disciples when Jesus knelt down and washed their feet. I began to understand their reactions. Somehow it doesn’t feel righto let someone else do all the serving – not when I am supposed to be the server. But as I adjusted and relaxed, my emotions shifted. Once I allowed myself to be served, I felt humbled, uplifted, accepted, cared for, and loved. No wonder Jesus wouldn’t let Peter avoid having his feet washed. He needed the experience of being humbled, uplifted, accepted, cared for, and loved. It profoundly changes a person.

We left the retreat fully transformed. But I observed something else just as powerful. I saw the countenance of those who did the serving. They radiated pure joy. They expressed a heavenly delight in everything they said and did. I eventually understood why. In serving others we are most like Jesus. John records that after washing the disciples’ feet Jesus “… put on his clothes and returned to his place. “Do you understand what I have done for you?” he asked them.  “You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.  Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. ” (John 13:12-16)

the-washing-of-the-feet

Here it is again – ‘one another.’ To be like Jesus is to wash one another’s feet. It means to serve one another.  Paul caught it. He wrote, “For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love.” (Galatians 5:13 NLT) To serve is to provide for another, to give to another what they need. It means willingly taking the focus off of ourselves and zeroing in on others. It’s not just saying but living out the principle that it’s not about me – it’s all about you.

What would your life look like if you approached everyone you encounter with an attitude of “What can I do for you?” And then did it? How would our churches, our families, our neighborhoods look? I can’t say for sure but wouldn’t it be great to find out? What I do know for sure is this promise of Jesus: “Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.” (John 13:17) You will radiate pure joy and express a heavenly delight in everything you say and do.

*Picture from James Tissot - Public Domain
Pastoral thoughts

Proper Clothes

The “One Another” phrases in the New Testament have really been

Consumers shopping for clothes

on my mind. Perhaps it’s because not a day goes by without headlines of someone demeaning, or seeking to destroy someone else – all to prove superiority. But the Bible offers a stark contrast, even as it tells us how to dress for one another. “All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time” (1 Peter 5:5-6).

So how do we ‘clothe ourselves with humility?’ We dress up with the clothes of Jesus – we become like Him. It’s what Paul had in mind when in Philippians 2 he painted a picture of what Jesus’ humility looks like. “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross!” (Philippians 2:3-8).

Peter clarified it even further when he summarized Jesus’ life: “God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and power…he went around doing good and healing all who were under the power of the devil, because God was with him” (Acts 10:38). We clothe ourselves with humility, we become like Jesus by doing good. The fact is that the New Testament is full of comments about and commendations for doing good.

  • “In Joppa there was a disciple named Tabitha (which, when translated, is Dorcas), who was always doing good and helping the poor.” (Luke 9:36).
  • “To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor and immortality, he will give eternal life.” (Romans 2:7)
  • “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9)
  • “In everything set them an example by doing what is good…Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good…And I want you to stress these things, so that those who have trusted in God may be careful to devote themselves to doing what is good. These things are excellent and profitable for everyone…Our people must learn to devote themselves to doing what is good, in order that they may provide for daily necessities and not live unproductive lives.” (Titus 2:7, 3:1, 3:8, 3:14).
  • “Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us…For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men.” (1 Peter 2:12, 15).

We have the power to do good works. God’s nature – Jesus’ nature – is in our spiritual DNA. Paul, in Ephesians 2:10, made it very clear: “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works…” We are God’s workmanship: His work of art, created to do good works. We are to do what we have been created to do – dress up with humility through doing good works towards others. It means to live less for our own selves and more for others – to live a life of selfless service and ceaseless sacrifice. Such clothing may not make the headlines – but it will make a difference. Let’s make every day a Jesus dress up day!

***From my book ‘7 Habits of Highly Healthy People.’

 

 

Pastoral thoughts

A Code of Honor

 

beautiful view of Maldives Island from airplane window

As my fellow staff member and boarded the plane he pulled a switch. When he ordered the tickets for our trip to the conference he, unknown to me, used his air credits to get himself a first-class seat. He never mentioned it until we boarded – then he gave me his seat and he went back to my seat in coach. He wanted me, at least for a while, to experience the luxury of extra room and service. I was dumbfounded and deeply moved. I tried to argue with him – although not too hard – but he was not about to change his mind. So I graciously accepted his precious gift.

I gained an even deeper appreciation for a man I already respected. As I later reflected on his gesture I realized this graciousness was part of who he was. He understood what it meant to give honor to another and found great satisfaction in doing so. And because of that one gesture I gained a clearer understanding of Paul’s admonition to “outdo one another in showing honor.” (Romans 12:10 RSV) It’s one of 59 occurrences in the New Testament of the phrase ‘one another.’ I think it’s the most intriguing and unique. It’s one of the very few times, perhaps the only time, we are told to outdo someone else. But what a concept it is. I wonder how different our world would be if we truly tried to outdo one another in conferring respect and esteem on one another. I suspect the difference would be like night and day.

Think about it – what would showing honor to your spouse look like? To your children? To your co-workers or employees? To your boss? To that person who annoys or opposes you? How can you confer respect and esteem upon them? I know this – they will be uplifted and so will you.

Can you imagine what a world of ‘honor competition’ would look like? Paul envisioned it. He thought it was worth writing about. So I believe it’s worth thinking about. So why not join the competition?

Pastoral thoughts

Trashy Treasure

 

An abandoned area that is covered with trash and street graffiti. This makes an excellent background or backdrop. Shallow depth of field.

One person’s trash is another person’s treasure. It’s most often said when advertising a rummage sale. I’ve heard and said it often. However, I’ve always been a little uncomfortable with it – I’ve wondered what impact it has upon those purchasing the items in the sale. If my stuff is trash, does that mean the person buying it is a trashy person? I hope not – I would never mean it that way. I hope the message is that we all have different needs and view things differently. What I don’t need, you may need. What I see as useless, you may see as useful. What I see as of little value, you may see of great value. It’s all a matter of perspective. I determine what is trash and treasure in my life and you determine what it is in yours.

It occurs to me that this same principle applies to what happens to us, to how we respond to the events and circumstance of life. I pondered this recently when I read a chapter in Rabbi Daniel Lapin’s book, “Buried Treasure.”[i] He pointed out that in the Hebrew language a word spelled backwards often has the opposite meaning of the original word.  For example the Hebrew word for trash is resh-peh-shin. Reverse it and you get shin-peh-resh, which is the root for the word SHaPiR which means ‘excellent’ or ‘fine’ and is the basis of the word sapphire. I find that fascinating. When I’m in the midst of a

antique wooden chest isolated on white background

difficult experience it looks bad, like trash. But often time tells a different story; when I later look back on it I see how it was an experience that refined, molded and taught me. The trash was really a treasure.

This changes how I view my present experiences. Is the tough time I’m going through trash or treasure? My perspective will determine how I respond. It’s now so much what happens to us that matters as it is how we respond to what happens to us. It’s not what life brings to us in her hands as it is what we bring to life in ours.

That’s one of the reasons I wrote my book on the life of Joseph.[ii] His life was full of trash – dysfunctional family, rejection, revenge, guilt, broken dreams, temptation, and self-pity. But they were mere stepping stones that took him from a pit of death to a place in a palace. When he was reconciling with his brothers – who had betrayed him – he proclaimed “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” He saw all the tough times in his life not as trash but trashy treasure.

Joseph’s life principle points to Jesus. Even He demonstrated that trash could be treasure. He died the most cruel and despised death of all – crucifixion. But when he rose from the dead He proved the trashy cross was really the treasure of salvation for all who believe.

Whatever you view as trash in your life, try reversing your thinking. It may just become a treasure. Be open to what God is doing in your life.

[i] Rabbi Daniel Lapin, Buried Treasure (Multnomah Publishers, 2001), 151f.

[ii] “When the Going Gets Tough” – see www.revcpikk.com

Pastoral thoughts

Restriction of Freedom

freedomcloudOne of the consequences of our ‘me first’, ‘I demand my rights’ culture is a misunderstanding of freedom. Freedom is far too often taken to mean a person is free to do whatever, whenever, wherever. Freedom is viewed as having no restrictions.

Such views have even seeped into the church. Consider Jesus’ words from John 8:31-32. “To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”” This is surely one of the most abused texts in the Bible. I cannot recall all the times I’ve heard someone say or imply, based on these words, that there are no rules in the Christian life – that since Jesus’ grace covers everything, everything is okay. But this indicates a lack of regard for both the condition attached (remaining in Jesus’ teachings) and the sort of freedom in view, namely, freedom from sin (v. 34). The restriction of freedom is: “If you hold to my teaching…the truth will set you free.”

Jesus promises that if we remain in his teaching, we will know the truth and the truth will set us free. In Judaism it was the study of the law that set one free (Ps 119:45), so Jesus is claiming for his teaching that which is recognized as true of God’s own teaching. To know Jesus is to be liberated from all error and evil, for it is to know God himself, who is truth and purity and life. In Jesus’ teaching and in the teaching of Judaism obedience to God is true freedom. That makes truth something quite different from today’s mindset; for it takes God, rather than our own personal feelings and ambitions, as the one good. The freedom in view is not a freedom to do whatever we wish according to the dictates of our own fallen selves, but a freedom from our fallen selves and the power and guidance to act in accordance with God himself, the source of all goodness and life.

That’s precisely why God gives us His laws. 10commmandmentsThese ‘restrictions’ are not meant to hurt us but to help us, not meant to deprive us but to protect us. In 1982 Greg Hibbard wrote a letter to the editor in the Muskegon Chronicle which read, “Dear Editor, I would like to tell your readers how mad I was when I was forced to go out and pay $45 for an infant seat, and to top it off we couldn’t fit everybody in my pickup truck with that big bulky thing. On April 2, my wife was forced to go off highway M-120 into a ditch to avoid a collision – that’s 55 MPH to a dead stop. The back of the child car seat was facing the windshield (as I was told the law required for four-month old infants). That seat broke off the ash tray, cracked the dashboard and chipped the windshield. Our baby didn’t have a scratch on her. I would like to thank God and whoever else is responsible for passing that stupid law.” I have a hunch Jesus smiled as he read the letter! Greg now understood that freedom has restrictions. So remember the formula: H + JT + T = F. (Holding to Jesus’ teaching leads to truth which leads to freedom.) Work on your obedience; enjoy your divine restrictions – and be truly free.

Freedom Cloud picture from: aliveagainpositiveliving.com

Law tablets picture from: myjewishlarning.com

 


	

	
	




	
	

				

			Pastoral thoughts
		

			
A Word About Revenge

		

			 		

	


		

		
cowboy-mascot-vector_XyvWAW_LA grizzled old man was eating at a truck stop. Three tough bikers walked in. One pushed his cigarette into the old man’s pie, one spit into the old man’s milk, and one turned over the old man’s plate. Without a word, the old man left. Shortly thereafter one biker said to the waitress, “Not much of a man, was he?” The waitress replied, “Not much of a truck driver either. He just backed over three motorcycles.” (1)


We chuckle, because at some points we have had an inner desire for revenge, to get even. We remind ourselves that Scripture says, “An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth” (Exodus 21:24).  And it does – but its correct context could be a column for another time. My point now is that revenge never evens the score. Instead, it ties all parties to an escalator of retaliation. If everyone lived by the “eye for an eye” principle, who in the world would have any sight left?


The emotions behind a desire for revenge are malignancies that threaten to destroy us. They hurt us more than those we against whom we hold anger. Desire for revenge cements us to our past so we cannot move forward. Nursing resentment is like eating poison and waiting for the other person to keel over.  (2) Rather than inflicting consequences we suffer the consequences. A woman who vows she’ll never forget the injury caused by something her in-laws said will be far more miserable than they are. The husband who secretly prays that his ex will be miserable will end up far more miserable than she is. We cannot stand up under the weight of a grudge. 


Yet when we’re hurt or offended we want someone to pay for the injustice. But someone already has paid for injustice. His name is Jesus. Charged with no crime, having lived without sin, He was put to death like a common criminal. “But because of our sins he was wounded, beaten because of the evil we did. We are healed by the punishment he suffered, made whole by the blows he received.”


Once we grasp what Jesus has done, we can walk a much more beautiful path.  “Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the Lord.  Instead, “If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.”  Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.” (Romans 12:17-21) Revenge or honor? Anger or peace? Which path will you walk?


(1) Preaching Now, January 22 , 2008


(2) Anonymous, from Robert Atwell, Soul Unfinished (Brewster, MA: Paraclete Press. 2012), 72


This first appeared as a column in the South Haven Tribune, Sept. 6, 2016


You may read more about the cycle of revenge in my book on Joseph.

	

	
	




	
	

				

			Pastoral thoughts
		

			
A Picture is Worth …

		

			 		

	


		

		


The old English idiom states “A picture is worth a thousand words.” So take a look.




Hollow Tree_0501                                          Fallentree_0503


Now not a thousand but a few words. A hollow tree will eventually fall. With no inner strength there is no outer strength. Storms and winds will ultimately prevail.


What’s true for trees is true for people as well. If we are hollow on the inside, we will eventually succumb to the storms and winds. That’s why the Psalmist declared “That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not whither. Whatever they do prospers” (Psalm 1:3). Since character is not made but rather displayed in crisis, God is less concerned with how high we climb than He is with how deeply we’ve dug our roots. As Charles Spurgeon once said, we must penetrate below the soil and reach the secret fountains of grace. Since Satan’s ploy is to keep us shallow we must take the time and faithfully attend to the discipline of planting roots. The real question is, what would be left if you were cut off from everyone and everything? Would your roots run deep enough into Christ that you could withstand? Whether you survive tough times depends on the state of your discipline.


In the movie Karate Kid, young Daniel asks Mister Miagi to teach him karate. He agrees with one condition—Daniel must submit totally to his instruction and never question his methods. Daniel agrees and shows up eager to learn. But Miagi has him paint a fence, demonstrating the precise motion to use; it takes Daniel days to finish the job. Then Mr. Miagi tells him to scrub the deck using a prescribed stroke; again, it takes days to finish the job. Daniel wonders what this has to do with karate but keeps quiet. Next, Mr. Miagi instructs him to wash and wax three weather-beaten cars, again with a prescribed motion. With that, Daniel reaches his limit: “I thought you were going to teach me karate, but all you have done is have me do your unwanted chores!” He’s now broken the one condition, and Miagi’s face pulses with anger: “I’ve been teaching you karate! Defend yourself!” He thrusts his arm at Daniel, who instinctively defends himself with an arm motion exactly like that used in one of his chores. Miagi kicks, and same thing happens. Several more times, the same thing happens. Miagi simply walks away, leaving Daniel to discover that skill comes from repeating seemingly mundane but correct actions.


Spiritual disciplines develop in us the strength and skill to survive the tough times. I encourage you to evaluate your daily schedule and activities. How much time do you spend in intentional contact with God through prayer, Bible reading, fasting, or serving? Are your roots deep enough that you are strong on the inside? Is what’s on the inside strong enough that you are able to withstand the storms and winds? 


Jesus painted a similar picture. “To have good fruit you must have a healthy tree; if you have a poor tree, you will have bad fruit. A tree is known by the kind of fruit it bears” (Matthew 12:33 GNT). Do you want to be known for good fruit, no matter the circumstances? Develop your roots. 


NOTE: My book, “When the Going Get Tough…” has a chapter on how Joseph developed the spiritual disciplines that made his life “a fruitful vine near a spring, whose branches climb over a wall.” For more information visit www.revcpikk.com. 

	

	
	




	
	

				

			Pastoral thoughts
		

			
When Doing the Right Thing Hurts

		

			 		

	


		

		
I was trying to be so careful and so helpful. My wife had washed the window above the sink. But it was stuck; she could not push it back up into place. It was time for the husband to the rescue! As I leaned over the sink, I placed my hands under the window. I was about ready to push up when I realized I wasn’t in the right position. My angle of leverage was poor and probably not safe for my arm muscles. So I moved a chair to the sink so I could raise myself to a higher level. The window was now below me so I bent at the knees to pull upwards with both hands under the window – certainly better, safer leverage.


Portrait of a crazy african businessman shouting and closing ear by his hands on white backgroundAs I pulled the window up – POP! POP! It was not the window.  It was something in my elbow. I knew immediately it wasn’t a healthy sound. And it certainly wasn’t a pleasant feeling. It turns out I tore a tendon. I’m now rehabbing. 


As I reflected on the incident I realized that doing the right thing doesn’t guarantee that everything will go well. In fact, doing the right thing may hurt. I thought of many people I know or have read about who did what is right only to experience hurt. Certainly martyrs throughout the centuries – and even today – come to mind. And I am sure you are thinking of times when it has been true for you as well. The point is, it shouldn’t be surprising. The Bible is filled with people who did the right thing – and experienced hurt. Joseph did right and was rejected, betrayed, and imprisoned. Job did right and lost everything but his wife and his life. John the Baptist did right and lost his head. Jesus did right and lost His life. 


This reflection is not intended to discourage you from doing right. It’s meant to help you when the hurt hits. First, accept the hurt as part of life. View it not as unfair but as an opportunity. Character is not made in crisis; rather it is displayed in crisis. When the hurt hits, display godly character. Second, anticipate the great work God is doing, for He works in the midst of hurt and crisis to bring glory to Himself. As the apostle Paul wrote “We know that in all things God works for good with those who love him, those whom he has called according to his purpose. Those whom God had already chosen he also set apart to become like his Son…” (Romans 8:28-29 GNT) It may be that doing the right thing in the right way will hurt. The hurt is a sign you are in the process of becoming like Jesus. I, for one, with Jesus’ help, can handle that.


Note: For a fuller discussion of doing right leading to hurt, I invite you to check out my latest book on the life of Joseph: “When the Going Gets Tough…” I think you’ll find his life story instructive and inspiring.

	

	
	




	
	

				

			Pastoral thoughts
		

			
Nickels & Dimes

		

			 			Leave a comment
						

	


		

		
PRINCIPLE: “When it’s all about image, remember your image.”




As a ninth grader I looked forward to high school. I was auditioning for the High School choir, which was one of the best in the state. My sister was already in the choir – you need to know that she was a 4.0 student and had gained high respect for her academic work. Her reputation had preceded me. So the choir director looked at me and asked, “Are you Shirley’s brother?” “Yes I am,” I responded. “Are you as smart as she is?” he continued. “No!” I replied. “I didn’t think so,” he said. “You don’t look it!”  It’s a good thing my image wasn’t bound up with my sister’s! As has been said, “The most important opinion you’ll ever have is the opinion you have of yourself.” 




Image is extremely important to our self-esteem; how we see ourselves determines how we act. Consider the great Oliver Wendell Holmes; he was only five feet tall and was often asked how it felt to be so small. His response was classic: “I feel like a dime in a group of nickels.” That’s a great self-image! And in our multi-media culture, there is no shortage of images to choose from. Our youth, especially, are bombarded with a constant stream of both overt and subtle messages about what’s supposedly important to their image. Wanting to fit in, not wanting to be bullied for being different, youth are vulnerable. The result is mass confusion, emotional instability, and in extreme cases, psychological depression. And I’m not so sure it’s much different for us adults.




So where should our image come from? “When it’s all about image, remember your image.”  “God created human beings; he created them godlike, reflecting God’s nature. He created them male and female… God formed Man out of dirt from the ground and blew into his nostrils the breath of life. The Man came alive—a living soul!” (Gen. 1:27 & 2:7 MSG). Our identity comes from God – we have a chip of God’s DNA within us. “When it’s all about image, remember your image.” We have divine roots, a God-given dignity, and a holy destiny. Nothing can change it. We can forget it, to our shame; remember Adam and eve? We can ignore it, to our peril; “People knew God perfectly well, but when they didn’t treat him like God, refusing to worship him, they trivialized themselves into silliness and confusion so that there was neither sense nor direction left in their lives. They pretended to know it all, but were illiterate regarding life. They traded the glory of God who holds the whole world in his hands for cheap figurines you can buy at any roadside stand. So God said, in effect, “If that’s what you want, that’s what you get.” It wasn’t long before they were living in a pigpen, smeared with filth, filthy inside and out. And all this because they traded the true God for a fake god, and worshiped the god they made instead of the God who made them—the God we bless, the God who blesses us.” (Rom. 1:18-25 MSG). Or we can remember our identity: “Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. For I am the Lord, your God,the Holy One of Israel, your Savior .I gave Egypt as a ransom for your freedom I gave Ethiopia and Seba in your place. Others were given in exchange for you. I traded their lives for yours because you are precious to me.You are honored, and I love you.” (Is. 43:1-4 NLT).  The reality is, Jesus was given in exchange for us; “His life was traded for ours. For God took the sinless Christ and poured into him our sins. Then, in exchange, he poured God’s goodness into us!” (2 Cor. 5:21 TLB) “When it’s all about image, remember your image.”




This week, no matter what our culture, or other people, say, may you remember who you are!


 


“When it’s all about image, remember your image.”

	

	
	




	
	

				

			Pastoral thoughts
		

			
Nothing to Say

		

			 			Leave a comment
						

	


		

		
PRINCIPLE: “When you have nothing to say, say nothing.”




Thought it was back in 1975, I still remember it well. We were living in Sioux Center, Iowa. Out of seminary a little over a year I had quite the week. Since the Sr. Pastor was on vacation I wound up with my first wedding and first funeral on the same weekend – and then had my second wedding and second funeral the next weekend. Both funerals were of relatively young parents who died of cancer and left behind spouses and elementary school-age children. But it’s the second funeral that is especially memorable – in fact not even so much the funereal as what preceded it. Since this young father died at the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota, where his wife was at his bedside, his brother and sister-in-law called me in the dead of night and asked me to join them when they broke the news to the children. What could I say? I quickly dressed, said a quick prayer, and nervously drove to the farmhouse. 




All the way there I kept wondering what I would say to these now fatherless children – who deeply loved their dad. God just didn’t seem to give my anything. Unfortunately it was a short drive and I arrived before anything developed in my mind. When I got there, the brother and sister-in-law roused the children and sat them around the kitchen table. The children already knew something was wrong – I mean, why would the minister be there in the middle of the night? Suddenly everyone was there and my mind was still blank – I, for one of the few times in my life, was at a loss for words.




And that’s when God’s grace kicked in. No – he didn’t give me wonderful words to say. He used the brother and sister-in-law who beautifully spoke to the children and explained what had happened. They carried the conversation with their nieces and nephews. Occasionally I chipped in. When they asked me to pray, the words were not many but they were God-given and adequate. I left, feeling somewhat embarrassed and let down that I said so little. Yet sometime later the brother and sister-in-law expressed their deepest thanks to me for ‘all you did for us and the children’ as they shared the time together. I guess that’s when I first began to learn about the ministry of presence. “When you have nothing to say, say nothing.” Sometimes our mere presence is enough.




Sometime later I was directed to the book of Job. When were Jobs’ friends the most helpful? When they sat there in silence with him. Their ministry of presence gave him comfort and support. It’s when they began to offer their ‘wisdom’ and advice that the heated discussions arose. “When you have nothing to say, say nothing.”  Still today, in tough situations, I recall that night, or I see Job sitting on his ash heap surrounded by his silent friends. It helps me realize I don’t always have to have great words to say. Sometimes just sitting there with someone in the silence with no advice, no pearls of wisdom, or no answers is all they need and all God wants us to do.




It’s been a life-long journey unpacking all that this ministry of presence means – and in our age of communication technology some new possibilities have entered the discussion and made possible some new dynamics in having a presence (although face-to-face is still the #1 was to be present when possible.) So I’m still learning. And I haven’t always gotten it right. But I like to think I’ve made some progress. 






As leaders, and wonderful Christian people, you often end up in places and situations where it’s tough to know what to say. If God gives you the words – and you’re sure they’re from God – speak them. But remember that it’s okay sometimes to have nothing to say. And, “When you have nothing to say, say nothing.” “When three of Job’s friends heard of the tragedy he had suffered, they got together and traveled from their homes to comfort and console him. Their names were Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite.  When they saw Job from a distance, they scarcely recognized him. Wailing loudly, they tore their robes and threw dust into the air over their heads to show their grief. Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and nights. No one said a word to Job, for they saw that his suffering was too great for words.” (Job 2:11-13) “When you have nothing to say, say nothing.”